4 months on T.

I’m releasing this a day early because I’m too excited and if I put it off any longer, I’m going to completely forget to do this!

4 Months:

-Hair: Hair up to my knees and elbows is consistently getting much darker/easier to see at all times and the hair on my calves has gotten even longer and even darker. Facial hair is still blonde but can be seen from a little further away (a foot or two, where before I had to be pressed up against the mirror with the light shining on it just right) and there’s a light shadow forming above my lip. Sideburn hair is prickly but blonde down to just above my earlobe, and there’s a light shadow forming. My entire stomach is covered in fine darker hairs now.

-Skin: Okay…I can no longer go a single day without deodorant. Before I could go a few days to a week without using deodorant — I just didn’t smell all that bad. Now by midday if I don’t apply deodorant I can smell myself — and my scent has changed. More acne on my face, trying to get back into using a cleanser. Acne forming in the center of my back from boxer-line to mid-back.

-Shape: Face is surprisingly square ’round the jaw, very defined cheeks when I turn my head to the side. Developing the well-defined Adam’s Apple and infamous baby fat my Dad’s side is known for but my adam’s apple is still rather high. If it weren’t for how round and large my butt is, my shape (when binding) would be relatively male. I wouldn’t have to walk with my pelvis quite so far forward to have a relatively flat backside.

-Voice: If I weren’t recording myself and playing it back, I wouldn’t believe my voice was dropping (head voice is staying pretty much the same). That said, as I play it back — it is indeed still dropping. I still don’t usually pass in person or over the phone unless I keep my head down, my mouth shut, my pelvis out (leaning back so far it looks like I’m sliding halfway down the chair with my legs wide open helps) and about 4 layers of thick clothing on, but I’m slowly dropping into high-male range (I may need to work on my speech patterns more than the tone of my voice) and for the first time ever I passed to a new person I had never spoken to before over the phone. They could also see me — so I put it down as me passing “in person” as well! Me talking normally and me talking about as low as I can push my voice down sound nearly the same now.

-Other: Periods are still there, pains have come back but this latest one only lasted a few days and was very, very light. Gonna stick it out for a few more months before I complain about it, but we may need to raise my dose — which is tricky when you’re on the patch. My T levels are in the 400s where typical male range for my age is 500-700, so there is some wiggle room.

Percentage of time I pass in person: 2%

Percentage of time I pass over the phone: 2%

(To hear my voice last month and just as I started, just scroll down to the bottom of This Post.)

In other trans-related news, my psychiatrist has suggested I move my date for changing my name up. Originally I was going to have it changed by the time I got my top surgery done sometime in Spring next year — but instead they recommended I get it done more like Winter of this year. This will help solidify my identity in my mind and everyone else’s — to sign and write and say my new name so that others will see me the way I want to be seen sooner. I’ll continue to give the name a try and get comfortable with it, and try to see if I can change my name before the end of the year.